swim

when things get rough, i tend to notice i blog more often.
i just finished watching "Dear Jack", an emotional journey through Andrew McMahon's battle with Leukemia. it was so awakening. i've never really seen exactly what people go through when they have chemo treatments and such, so it was interesting to see that. i cried a lot. i hope my grandma isn't going through that pain, although i very well that she is. and i also hope that she has the courage andrew had going through his disease. he was determined to win, and he did.

i just ate 3 pieces of bacon and a cupcake.
i hate the smell of bacon in a house if its not breakfast.
and i even hate when it lingers in the air.

i feel like i should throw up now because i feel bad about it. should i take that as some kind of sign?
ah im so fucked up. i want to get over this "hump" of sadness and feel good about things.
i feel like i completely lack confidence.

and work isn't helping me at all. the front desk girls are bitches. thats right you heard, you are BITCHES. so stop looking at me like i dont know what im talking about and realize that i probably know more than you do.

ok done with this one.